Why I love Amami Haruka

 

Some of my favorite characters are ones that I closely relate too. I see a bit (or sometimes all) of myself in them: their personalities, their struggles, and what’s important to them. Most of all, when they are able to overcome their hardships, it’s really inspiring to me; it makes me want to do my best too, to become my best self and not let my self-doubts get in the way. To say that Amami Haruka is one of my favorite characters would honestly be a bit of an understatement. When I first watched the iDOLM@STER and was introduced to the clumsy idol with a can-do attitude and a smile from ear to ear, I never expected that she would be someone who I connected with as much as I do now. She always had a smile on her face, and always tried to support her fellow idols, especially her friend Chihaya. She’s their friend and motivator, the one who always encouraged everyone to do their best, even when they were at what felt like their lowest point. She never lets anything get her down. Above all else, Haruka is somebody who loves spending time with her friends and helping them in any way she can. At the same time, however, she struggles with it. She despises being by herself, even going so far as to tell Miki that if it was just her at their audition, she would have broken. And though she always tries to help her friends, she worries that all she ever does is annoy them, that she’s just a burden to them. These feelings start to weigh down on her in episode 20, when she fails to help her closest friend. The first time she goes to Chihaya’s apartment to try to cheer her up, she ends up speaking out of line, saying that her brother would be happy if she could enjoy singing. When Chihaya tells her to stop interfering in her life, she stops dead in her tracks. She realizes that she’s becoming the person she never wanted to be. In that moment, she falters. She tells Producer, “I always say we should keep trying to work hard, not just to Chihaya-chan, but to everyone. Maybe it was none of my business, and I was annoying them.” This is how she’s always felt, and while she’s able to overcome it and help Chihaya thanks to Producer and the rest of 765 PRO, those feelings don’t go away. They reach their head during her episodes, when she becomes overwhelmed by her desire to see her friends succeed and her need to spend time with them. When the Producer gets hospitalized, it ultimately breaks her; and she realizes that she doesn’t know why she even wanted to become an idol in the first place. In a way, she gives up her only dream because she’s worried that she’s become a burden to those closest to her. It isn’t until the rest of 765 PRO realizes that they missed spending time together, and Haruka’s own realization that she wanted to be an idol to have fun with her friends, that they’re able to come back together. While her own self-doubt is something that she doesn’t fully overcome (even in the movie), she’s able to find hope in trusting that her friends care about her just as much as she cares about them.

“Having fun together, singing and dancing… I’ve felt that way since I was young. But I thought that everyone else didn’t really enjoy it. My desire to have fun together…When I thought it was just a burden to everyone, I got scared…”

“It’s okay! I’m sure it’ll be okay. Because… I believe in everyone! It’ll be okay.”

I’ve always wanted to support my friends and those around me, and I love spending time with them, but sometimes I feel like I’m just an annoyance to them, like they’d be better off without me. But I also get really lonely, and there are times when I despise being by myself. I sometimes feel like putting myself above others is too selfish, but I’ve been working on that. And I trust that my friends care about me just as much as I care about them.

 I love Amami Haruka. I love how much I relate to her and her struggles, and how her ability to overcome them inspires me. She’s a character that means a lot to me.

 

“Massugu”

Falling in love, or thinking of all your dreams

Creates an awkward feeling in the depths of your heart

We’re in the middle of the path to becoming grown-ups

First experiences adorn every single day

But this sky has always been watching over me

Encouraging me to be stronger and stronger

That’s why I’m not scared, and why I can go anywhere I want

Straight towards the sparkling future

I’m sure if we can overcome ourselves,

We can go forward in a happy state of mind

That’s it! Starting now, I’ll be the “me” who smiles all the time

Dashing forward into the perfect future